Writing 101: The Taylor Method

So I am currently trying to write my personal statement for law school. This really is no easy task. I just cannot seem to get started with that first sentence. I have thought about what I want to say constantly, but I just cannot seem to verbalize it. So much to say.. so few words to express it.

I tried to convey this to Taylor and well.. he does not understand my problem. To him.. the 500 word essay is a dream... because that is about as much words that he has to use on any given topic outside of the realm of sports. Our conversation goes as follows:

Me: Do you realize how hard it is to condense who I am, why I want to go to law school, and why they should pick me in 500 words?

Taylor: Easy. I could do it in 300. I am the master of concise papers. Twelve page paper.. I can do it in two... all necessary information included. Why drag out papers with unnecessary sentences that you know are poorly written?

Me: It is called being eloquent Taylor.. plus you need to substantiate what you are saying.

Taylor:  Eloquence is for books. People PAY to read books.. so they can be long. People get paid TO READ academic papers... no one actually wants to read them. I am doing the world a service.

Me: My goodness.. what do you write in... bullet point?

Taylor: Now that would be awesome. The bullet point was a GREAT invention.

Taylor: I can "substantiate" my claim in a short paper. I will tell you how a paper should be written-

 THE COLLEGE PAPER ACCORDING TO TAYLOR JAMES KLEIN


This is this.

This is why this is this.

Boom. Boom.

DONE.

Taylor: It is really not that complicated babe.

Me: It is. I just have so much to say. I always have so much to say.

Taylor: Your capacity to go on about anything really is unbelievable.

Me: You have no idea.

And this ladies and gentlemen concludes Taylor's thoughts on papers. There was a time that I believed if one read a lot of books and loved to read... then that gave a person the ability to write papers. Taylor loves to read and reads almost obsessively.

Belief demolished.

I guess I just do not really understand how someone can have the ability to run out of words. You really have nothing more to say about the topic? But we have only just scratched the surface!

I think I can sum up Taylor's thoughts on women and their lifelong love of speech.

When talking about whether it would be easier to have all boys or all girls... Taylor actually concluded his argument with this:

(Exasperated Taylor voice) "But girls.. they just require so much... talking."

You know... I never really thought that wanting to communicate verbally on a regular basis could be listed as a negative.

Oh man world.. I have so much to learn :)