I have been overcome by this thing called pregnancy. Well first it was law school application stress and then pregnancy... but the point is that I am back.
There are so many wonderful things no one really talks about when they mention pregnancy. Oh yes... I have always heard of the morning sickness, but beyond that I had never really been told too much else. For example, no one told me that I would feel like I ran the New York marathon every day.. or that climbing a set of stairs could feel like I had just conquered Everest. Or that you would think I had sucked a lake dry every evening before I went to sleep by how many times I have to urgently get out of bed every night. I figured these were things that happened once my belly obscured my view of my toes... not when I only look like I have made Krispy Kremes a staple to my diet.
My favorite is probably the emotional part.
Granted I have always been a tad sensitive and maybe at times had a short fuse... but oh my goodness... what has happened. From crying over TV commercials to blind rage over things that used to be a mild irritation. Like the fact that football or sports related television is ALWAYS on. Taylor comforts me by saying I have not become completely irrational. He is always so comforting. His friends not so much.. While watching a touching story recently I may have a shed a tear or two... And I quote " I feel like you cry multiple times a day. This cannot be normal." Pfft.
In my defense.. all is not lost..the ASPCA commercials still don't make me cry. Curse you Sarah McLachlin.
I won't go through the other weird things because there is a reason no one tells you about those symptoms... and because I am a lady.
So sometimes I find solace in the fact that I am not the only woman feeling these things. This is where the iphone app "What To Expect When You Are Expecting" comes in handy. It reminds you what week and day you are in your pregnancy... compare your baby's size to some sort of fruit or piece of food.. and they also have message boards that women can go on and talk to each other.
I must say though.. these boards are pretty much just full of worrisome pregnant women so I try not to psyche myself out by reading them too much. It is like women think that stating the worst possibly scenario and adding a "but it's not like that for everyone" will make the horrific images they just painted in your mind disappear. LADIES... SOME THINGS CANNOT BE UNREAD.
I have found that in life... groups of women speaking to each other via internet giving their opinions and experiences at whim rarely churns out a positive outcome.
But then I found a GOLDMINE... or so I thought. I found a board designated specifically for men so that they could have a venue to talk to each other about their wives pregnancies and what they were experiencing. Since I am married to a man who believes "excited","pretty cool", and "it is still far off" are good ways to describe his feelings for any situation, I assumed that here was a venue that would allow me to see what maybe more expressive men were feeling... and then maybe... just maybe... I could pull some more feelings/emotions/adverbs/adjectives out of my Taylor.
WRONG.
These are the topics I found.
1. Multiple.. multiple... I mean 90 percent was about whether their wife was giving them some lovin. This included a lot of very funny sarcastic comments that I cannot post here.
2. Fantasy Football. I am not kidding you. Many of the posts were about fantasy football teams and whether they should play player "A" over player "B".
3. Football in general. They asked each other what they thought of certain games throughout the week.
4. "Don't give your kid a stupid name... I know it is tough Saereahh, but your Mom and Dad must be really cool."
AND MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE....
Actual post and some of the answers:
"I saw a post asking what three items you would carry if there was a zombie apocalypse. Which is great because everyone should be prepared for that! But, this board's question is what three items would you bring to the Prego Apocalypse.. Where all women on earth are pregnant (forever) and you are one of the few men left on earth.. Be afraid men. Be VERY afraid."
-"I would bring 1. Ice cream (as much as I could carry) 2. DNA testing kit (don't need any baby mamma drama) 3. Headphones/ear plugs (could use them to block out all the complaining)"
-"1. Chocolate.. to distract them. 2. A very fast car to get away while they are distracted by the chocolate 3. A thermonuclear bomb to make sure I am dead once the chocolate and car fail."
Suffice to say... I learned nothing from Dad's corner except that apparently "excited","pretty cool", and "it is still far off".... is an accurate description of the depth of Tay's feelings.
December 17 marked our one year anniversary.. I think I will keep him around... he makes me cinnamon rolls... even if it requires a midnight grocery run... and that my friends... is love.
