Sorry it has been so long my dear friends.

I have been overcome by this thing called pregnancy. Well first it was law school application stress and then pregnancy... but the point is that I am back.

There are so many wonderful things no one really talks about when they mention pregnancy. Oh yes... I have always heard of the morning sickness, but beyond that I had never really been told too much else. For example, no one told me that I would feel like I ran the New York marathon every day.. or that climbing a set of stairs could feel like I had just conquered Everest. Or that you would think I had sucked a lake dry every evening before I went to sleep by how many times I have to urgently get out of bed every night.  I figured these were things that happened once my belly obscured my view of my toes... not when I only look like I have made Krispy Kremes a staple to my diet.

My favorite is probably the emotional part.
Granted I have always been a tad sensitive and maybe at times had a short fuse... but oh my goodness... what has happened. From crying over TV commercials to blind rage over things that used to be a mild irritation. Like the fact that football or sports related television is ALWAYS on.

Taylor comforts me by saying I have not become completely irrational. He is always so comforting. His friends not so much.. While watching a touching story recently I may have a shed a tear or two... And I quote " I feel like you cry multiple times a day. This cannot be normal." Pfft.

In my defense.. all is not lost..the ASPCA commercials still don't make me cry. Curse you Sarah McLachlin. 

I won't go through the other weird things because there is a reason no one tells you about those symptoms... and because I am a lady.

So sometimes I find solace in the fact that I am not the only woman feeling these things. This is where the iphone app "What To Expect When You Are Expecting" comes in handy. It reminds you what week and day you are in your pregnancy... compare your baby's size to some sort of fruit or piece of food.. and they also have message boards that women can go on and talk to each other.

I must say though.. these boards are pretty much just full of worrisome pregnant women so I try not to psyche myself out by reading them too much. It is like women think that stating the worst possibly scenario and adding a "but it's not like that for everyone" will make the horrific images they just painted in your mind disappear. LADIES... SOME THINGS CANNOT BE UNREAD.

I have found that in life... groups of women speaking to each other via internet giving their opinions and experiences at whim rarely churns out a positive outcome.

But then I found a GOLDMINE... or so I thought. I found a board designated specifically for men so that they could have a venue to talk to each other about their wives pregnancies and what they were experiencing. Since I am married to a man who believes "excited","pretty cool", and "it is still far off" are good ways to describe his feelings for any situation, I assumed that here was a venue that would allow me to see what maybe more expressive men were feeling... and then maybe... just maybe... I could pull some more feelings/emotions/adverbs/adjectives out of my Taylor.

WRONG. 

These are the topics I found.

1. Multiple.. multiple... I mean 90 percent was about whether their wife was giving them some lovin.  This included a lot of very funny sarcastic comments that I cannot post here.

2. Fantasy Football. I am not kidding you. Many of the posts were about fantasy football teams and whether they should play player "A" over player "B".

3. Football in general. They asked each other what they thought of certain games throughout the week.

4. "Don't give your kid a stupid name... I know it is tough Saereahh, but your Mom and Dad must be really cool."

AND MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE....

Actual post and some of the answers:

"I saw a post asking what three items you would carry if there was a zombie apocalypse. Which is great because everyone should be prepared for that! But, this board's question is what three items would you bring to the Prego Apocalypse.. Where all women on earth are pregnant (forever) and you are one of the few men left on earth.. Be afraid men. Be VERY afraid." 

-"I would bring 1. Ice cream (as much as I could carry) 2. DNA testing kit (don't need any baby mamma drama) 3. Headphones/ear plugs (could use them to block out all the complaining)"

-"1. Chocolate.. to distract them. 2. A very fast car to get away while they are distracted by the chocolate 3. A thermonuclear bomb to make sure I am dead once the chocolate and car fail."


Suffice to say... I learned nothing from Dad's corner except that apparently "excited","pretty cool", and "it is still far off".... is an accurate description of the depth of Tay's feelings.

December 17 marked our one year anniversary.. I think I will keep him around... he makes me cinnamon rolls... even if it requires a midnight grocery run... and that my friends... is love.   

Shelbi is a GREAT driver!

Sooo .....

I got a speeding ticket.

Yes.. this is really helping in Taylor's perception of my driving ability.

It was the day before the fourth of July, and I was embarking on a five hour drive to Minnesota to join Tay with his friend and family. I was tired and grumpy because I had to drive.. by myself. As you can imagine, the drive from South Dakota into Minnesota is absolutely stimulating..

Before I go on Tay would like me to say that before I took this trip... he specifically warned me about speed traps.. with that said we may continue... 

So it is early morning, and I am about two hours outside of Sioux Falls trying my best not to fall asleep. I mean I am in the middle of nowhere. It is farm land for miles.. FLAT farmland for miles.. granted greenery is very pretty, but it starts to blend together and makes me sleepy. 

    It is very hypnotic... my brain makes all the green kinda look like this. 

Before I go on,  I would just like to give a shout out to the Midwest state troopers  because I swear you guys fall out of the sky. Last time I was in my hypnosis, I was in Nebraska and my IPhone didn't even know where I was... but BAM... out of the dust comes Mr. Nebraska State Trooper to give me a ticket.. I mean where do you guys come from? There is nothing anywhere for miles... but you find me? 

So once again, I find myself in the middle of nowhere.. this time in South Dakota.. 

AND 

 Helloo... here comes MR. State trooper hauling on the OTHER SIDE of the road.. people.. he was going the opposite direction. I mean come on guys.. give a girl a break.. first you find me in Podunk and THEN you catch me while going the opposite direction? I drive a white Camry... how am I such a hot commodity?  

So you guys know what happens next.. Mr. State Trooper comes up to my window and asks me how fast I am going... Wrong.. Not this time.. the dude asks me if I have to use the restroom and if that is why I am going so fast.. 

   Well yes officer.. Thank you for giving me such a good excuse! 

Too bad I am a terrible liar and mumbled something about needing coffee so I don't fall asleep in my farm induced trance... 

So I dutifully took the ticket and tried to figure out how I was going to tell Taylor.. I had enough time to think because Minnesota has a massive amount of road construction going on in the summertime.

Sidenote: SERIOUSLY CALIFORNIA.. we cant even complain.. the midwest is AWFUL about road construction... I can't tell you how many miles I had to go 35 because the road was coned off with construction signs... but there was NO construction. Caltrans you got nothing on Midwest roadwork.

Anyways, when I got to my destination.. I told Tay how tired I was and how I just was not paying attention to how fast I was going because I was just trying to get to Minnesota and blah blah etc etc.. Taylor did not buy it. He just looked at me with the most exasperated look and exclaimed:

 "You weren't paying attention? You were driving... You literally had ONE thing to pay attention to!" 

And what makes the whole thing EVEN better is that in Minnesota there is no such thing as traffic school.. If you get a ticket you are stuck with it. That is it. Nothing to help you out with insurance.. no grace... ugh. 

I am now banned from driving long distances and this is what my car looks like:

On a Happier note.. Last week two of my closest friends got married!! It was such a happy day full of family, friends, and lots of love. It was a great party with lots of dancing and pictures.. Taylor's favorite things :) 

               Congrats Mr. and Mrs. Kyle Brodmann.. We love you!  

Photobooth Fun :)

The Fight

So before I got married I got all sorts of advice... and I honestly enjoyed listening to people tell me what being married was like. I especially enjoyed older people talking about how much you and your marriage change as you grow up together. I think my favorites consisted of the stories of what people would fight over when they were young and newly married. I have not been married long, but I thought maybe I would share one of my own... embarrassing as it may be.

Taylor and I had a long night and ended it with some McDonalds. We were both famished and did not care about anything but getting that food. I... as usual did not want to get too much of the diet destroying food... so I ordered the happy meal... all the while praising myself for my discipline. But before we had even reached home...  I had eaten my entire happy meal and was still hungry. I found myself dismayed that once again... I had not ordered enough food to fill me up.

When we got home... I realized Taylor had not gotten one... but two big burgers. This was perfect! I was starving and Taylor had ordered way more than me. Problem solved... Taylor could just share his food with me. He had left it on the table so maybe I could get a few bites in before he came back for the burgers. So I  commenced in taking a big bite out of his burger and was about to take a second when... there he was... Taylor had appeared... and I had been spotted... burger in hand.

If you have not read any of my posts... I must tell you... Taylor is extremely territorial over his food... and when he is hungry... even more so. Nothing ticks him off more than when I take his food and eat it without asking.

So there I was red handed.. caught with the Grand Lord's feast... but I was too hungry to back down. I dared to snarf another bite and tried to give the innocent look of a starving woman.

Of course this did not work... Taylor was very very angry... it was very late and he was hungry... reason had left both of us. He snatched the burger from my hand and the other one from the table and just glared at me... He began to state his usual recitation of his code of ethics surrounding his food.  It ends with something like this was his food and he bought it so HE could eat it blah blah and if I wanted more I should have bought more. This all seems very logical to him and as usual he is exasperated by my inability to grasp this concept.

I tried to explain to him I was just really hungry... but he remained unmoving and upset. I think he actually put the burgers behind his back at one point.

So in turn.. I began to get upset.. he was being so crazy about that stupid burger... I don't care about the code of honor surrounding a man's food... I am his wife...and I don't have any problems sharing so why should he?

This is where the story gets even more embarrassing. You would think fighting over a burger would take the cake... but no.. there is more to this tale.

I... upon feeling "righteous" indignation... stood up and stormed upstairs... proclaiming that the night was now over... and I was going to bed... secretly expecting Taylor to come upstairs after me. No way was I going downstairs until he came upstairs.

Taylor.. on the other hand.. was still upset over his burger.. mostly because he had decided that my two bites had consumed half the burger... and upon my leaving... he was even more upset that I was mad over something as stupid as the burger... it was his burger and he had claim to it.. so what was the problem? We had been over this enough.. or so he assumed.

So he decided that there was no way he was going upstairs to apologize... I was the one that needed to apologize.. so he stayed downstairs eating his burgers and watching TV.

Fast forward... I woke up the next morning and realized that Taylor was not in bed... I hurried downstairs and saw him sleeping on the couch. Yes.. that is right... in our prideful stubbornness we had both fallen asleep... And yes... the outcome of our stupid burger fight was that we had actually slept in separate beds.

We still can't stop laughing that this actually happened.

We don't feel like gluttons or anything.... not at all. 

For Better or Worse :)

I think what I am going to do is post a blog every Sunday... instead of having a random schedule :)

Well.. It feels as if Spring has come.. Tay and I enjoyed going out to Sioux Falls (yes there are actually falls here) and taking a walk around in the eighty degree weather. Take that Southern California and your week of cold!!

Soo I really love going on walks with Tay. We really enjoy each other's company. We are not the most lovey dovey.. grand gestures of love.. cutsie couple ever.. (I am currently working on this... progress TBA) But I can honestly say we really enjoy being together because of our friendship... and because we really do have a lot in common.

Being friends for awhile before we dated... and then being separated for most of the time we were dating... I guess we never really did the whole... "I am going to pretend I like doing this" thing that usually goes on when your dating. So there is really not a lot of BS about what we like to do (or don't) that suddenly rose to the surface once we got married. I mean Taylor totally loves to go antique shopping with me instead of watching the game... duh.

But anyways... I was thinking of how lucky we are to really enjoy alot of the same things ( I will really try to keep this frame of mind once we hit football season again). We both love to read. I am pretty sure we are both OCD in that we obsess over anything we happen to like. We both need our quiet time. We like the outdoors and being active. We have a similar dry sense of humor.... this makes choosing movies and TV programs fun. It also makes it easy to laugh often together.

I could go on.. but I don't want you to throw up from all this newlywed bliss.

So now we do a 180... As I have said before... I think it is really funny to see Taylor irritated. I don't know why.. I think because it never really seems so genuine? Or the annoying little girl with a mean sense of humor has never left me.
I definitely think it is the former considering.. admittedly.. I was the cause of almost all the spankings my brother (18 months my junior) and I got growing up. He was just too easy. A big sister can really play off a little brother with a temper... And I found no greater joy than finding his buttons and pushing him. Antagonizing him was a full time job. I did it ALL the time... ask my poor family. The beautiful thing was that he always took the bait... and we both ended up with spankings. My mom eventually had to carry a wooden spoon with her. I remember one day thinking: "I have gotten a spanking every single day this week.."

Anyways.. now that you have had a little inside look into my cruel sense of humor... back to my point.

So we have been married for three months now... thus the pet peeves are really starting to develop. As surprising as this may be... I am not the perfect angel that I appear to be...

SIDENOTE: I would just like to preface this with I am trying to get better at not doing things that annoy Taylor... but I just can't help giggle sometimes..

So... I have started a list of some of the things and thought I would share....

1. I leave all the cupboard doors open. I didn't even realize Taylor had noticed.. until my Mom asked him if I had been leaving the doors open... and he burst into a ecstatic "YES!"... He then began to describe his confusion of coming into the kitchen and seeing all the cupboards open... And I quote... " All I could think was.. what on earth was she looking for?"

This convo only started because of him complaining about...

2. Me leaving appliances and lights on... I have no comment and plead the fifth.

3. I chew gum obsessively... as in I chew two pieces at a time, and I have finished a pack by the end of the day. As a fellow OCD person who can eat an entire batch of "No Bake" cookies in one sitting... and has actually THROWN UP.... because he gorged himself with food due to the inability to say no... I think there should be some understanding here.

4. I retype everything. When I am writing anything.. whether it be a paper.. a blogpost.. a email.. a facebook post... I will type.. then erase.. then retype.. over and over until it sounds just right to me. Taylor literally cringes watching me write things.. the worst  for him is when I just erase the whole thing and give up... that drives him batty. It is just that writing my opinion (which is usually when this happens) is therapeutic for me.. but then the more I think about it.. the more I realize no one really cares about my opinion.. or they would have asked... or I figure they just don't deserve my wise and ingenious input. That my friends.. is usually when things get erased.

5. I hold onto *cling to* the shopping cart when we grocery shop.  I can only guess that I do this because when I was little my Mom always made me hold onto the cart. I never noticed that I never stopped doing it? This is probably up there with my finding out in 8th grade that I say "Pack Pack" instead of "backpack" because my Mom thought it was too cute to correct me when I was little. What can I say? Old habits die hard.

SIDENOTE: Taylor even stopped in the middle of the aisle once and stood there to see if I would leave the cart... I didn't.

I probably could go on.... actually I could.. but I won't... until next Sunday!

#Midwest Problems

So Taylor was doing a school paper or something... and asked me if I could create any product what would it be?

Well this is a hard question considering everything has been made... and although I did get the bedhead of the creative genius... I did not exactly get the creative gene.. which I am pretty sure coincides with the patience gene... so as you can imagine this is an extremely difficult question for one as myself.

Thinking about what I hate to do most... I began going down the list... self cleaning dishes? Oh wait thats a dishwasher... lose weight without working out or changing eating habits... oops ya thats drugs... hmmm.

All my brain could come up with is the self cleaning toilet. Brilliant I know.

But after the snowfall and terrible weather... I have come up with an invention. A HEATED ROAD SIGN. All you in California may be puzzled by this contraption... but I believe it is very important. Why?

I will tell you why... because it seems even people who have been born in this artic have a hard time driving in it.. yes this gives me a ton of hope.. I mean the news tells us to stay off the roads due to the accidents that happen due to the snow. Does everyone just stay inside all winter? Don't you guys usually always have snow?

Example: My friend saw one lady just run right into someone's yard and hit a post.. then nonchalantly drive away. Well.. You know what I blame this phenomena on. And no Taylor it is not that a woman was driving. It is lack of direction.

Let me explain:

It was snowing and blowing like no other the other day. The wind was heading what I think is south? (I am a lost little girl scout without the ocean to tell me where west is... and I can't ever see the sun)... anyways.. I too was accompanying Mr. Wind Southbound. I was trying to get home.. but there was a problem. I COULD NOT SEE ANY OF THE ROAD SIGNS. They were covered.. I mean COVERED with snow. I tried to crane my neck and see any sign that could tell me where to turn... but nothing. I had to make a educated guess and just turn on whatever street I felt was the right way. Luckily.. the town is a square and I eventually hit land marks I recognized.... but not without frustration. No person should have to fear getting lost in their own town during snow season.

Be thankful I survived to tell this awfully fascinating story and to complain.

So yes.. without a doubt Midwest... we need heated road signs... maybe then people won't run into people's yards.



P.S. Speaking of cold days and snow. There is nothing like going to get some wings on a cold Sunday with your husband and his friend...

then getting booted to the opposite side of the booth... opposite your hubby and BFF... so they can watch the game.

Oh Valentines Day...

Sorry It has been so long. Life got busy. Got a job. Found a church etc etc.. :)

So it has been a week since Valentines day, and I have been thinking. Why do men hate Valentines Day? In my book.. for any man in a relationship... especially long term.. V-day is a gift from God.

Why do you ask? Well I will tell you.

It seems that most men struggle with romance... or rather a woman's view of romance. I am constantly reading things how women need to adapt to how men think and love yadda yadda blah blah.. ok I get it. Women have unrealistic movie inspired views often of what their daily life concerning romance should look like. I understand learning how your man loves... but it does not mean the desire just goes away.

I like pretty things. I LOVE getting flowers. I like to be doted on. I pretty much love to be loved on. I don't think any woman.. no matter how practical she is.. can say she does not like when her man pays special attention to her in the form of gifts, notes, so on and so forth..

Now Taylor as I have said before.. is very loving. In his very own manly ways. And I appreciate this. I did not marry a woman, and if he did have the emotions that I pretend I wished he had... I would probably go nuts. TRUST ME... I have enough emotions for the two of us combined.

But still.. I fully support the expectations that come with Valentines day. You see Valentines day for me is easy.. I know what Taylor likes. I know how to make him feel special and loved and happy. In fact, in general I know how to do that. Not that hard. And this is what makes Valentines Day sooo wonderful.

It is ALL laid out for men. Plain and simple.. just how they like it. Yes there are expectations from the woman.. the expectation to be shown that she is loved. And maybe every day of the year a man struggles with this.. a womans definition of love. But on VDay... every producer of commercial goods is standing waving a flag showing men some very generic and easy steps to romance.

This is why I feel like a man's brain should appreciate about the day of love:

a- Walk into any grocery store and there are beautiful flowers waiting for you.
b- There is candy and teddy bears in almost every store you go into.. I mean take your pick.
c- There is a WHOLE section of Valentines day cards.. they even split them up by relationship status. Example: "Wife" "Girlfriend""Funny Wife" etc
d- There are so many commercials about gifts on TV.. and I know these commercials come on in between sports shows.
e- These commercials if anything can be a reminder to maybe make a reservation for some good food... and I know there should be no protest against that.

I mean how much easier could it get. EVERYWHERE one goes is a reminder that love day is coming. A man does not even have to think or stress about it. It is like God is giving all men a free pass for one day to prove to women that they too can adapt to the needs of their significant other.

And no I don't care about all this "commercialization" of love baloney... especially women who say this. Shush please. You guys read WAY too deep into everything. Seriously.. lighten up.  Leave me alone with my flowers, cards, and food. I don't care how generic it is.. I don't care if greeting cards make a billion dollars off VDay. My man read that card and thought it displayed his feelings pretty well.. and I did not even have to pull ir out of him... and I like flowers... so let me bask in the cheesiness and awesomeness that is the day of love.

Taylors response to all this: "It is still a pointless day."

Sports Ramblings

So I read up on something called a "football (sports) widow". Now I will preface this with the fact that Taylor is very loving and attentive, but it has become something of a joke talking about his love... err obsession with sports.

I was an athlete. I like to compete. Actually, I am fiercely competitive... probably to a fault. But I do not understand watching sports networks all the time. I have tried, but it gets boring so fast. Sometimes I feel like watching football is like watching 4 hours of paint dry. And Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.. really? AND THEN the in between sports shows and commentaries?  Trust me.. I do not really care what high school this player went to... or anything else...

Although, I must say.. I do not mind some of the documentaries talking about the things players overcame to become great. I like that kind of stuff. It is inspirational. It is not dry. What can I say... I have a Blindside shaped soft spot in my heart.

Lately.. one thing I REALLY do not understand... is why in this world... does Superbowl coverage start a week before the superbowl. Seriously... it does.

Case in point: Taylor watches this one show and instead of being indoors for the show.... they were out in the cold. I asked Taylor why they were outside... My misunderstanding came from the fact that there were no games for a week. Taylor informed me that they were where the superbowl would be held.. like outside of the stadium... and they were doing pre-game coverage... A WEEK IN ADVANCE.

Personally... I watch the Superbowl for the commercials... and sometimes I get into the game.. sometimes... well usually if there is a bet going.. like I said.. I am all about winning and anything that gives me the chance to be superior to another.. I am there. Oh and I enjoy things like this:

Goodness. Anyways back to the football widow stuff. I thought I would share some examples of widowhood:

Example (A)- Last year I spent an entire Christmas break watching Bowl games. (And a whole day watching ALL the Lord of the Rings: Extended Versions... but due to my ability to sleep at any moment that was tolerable for a day).  Anyways.. yes you read that right... we watched.. I think.. every bowl game that holiday season.. which means we may have watched... like 35 games in that short period.

Sidenote: I must say this year...  Happy day for me.. Because this year we had wedding and honeymoon during bowl season... and no TV in our hotel room. Score 1 for Shelbi.

Example (B)- As soon as we moved into our new house.. Taylor was stoked because he could keep the hideous green bay packer BEAN BAG... in my pretty living room. Just because there was room.

 Example (B)- Sometimes when we are sitting on the couch Taylor gives me side kisses. Like he moves only his lips to the side to kiss me. Funny right? That is what I thought. I would tease him about these side kisses. Wondering... why do you kiss like that sometimes?

Well folks.. the joke is on me. 

One day we were laying on the couch, and I went in for a kiss. Lo and behold.. I get a side kiss.

That is when I realized what really had been going down.

TAYLOR SIDE KISSES SO THAT HE CAN STILL SEE THE TV.... and yet still appease me.

I immediately called him out on it. "O my gosh.. you side kiss so you can watch sports and deal with me at the same time!" Response: A roar of laughter. I do not even know if he really realized he was giving me kisses.

I should be upset... but I have to admit.. I joined in that laughter. Besides.. I am not the one scrunching my face to do the stupid side kiss.

Example (C)- Now that I have caught Taylor on this side kiss stuff... If I want a kiss.. I go all for it.

On this occasion, I had not been feeling well all day due to the side effects of some medicine I was taking.

(Sidenote: I think all drugs should give you a happy feeling. They cost enough so why not throw some happy making ingredients in there.... side affects should not exist... or rather be covered.. with modern medicine.)

Anyways, I was in my sleepy... needy.. you should cuddle me all the time xoxo pathetic not feeling well mode. Taylor was watching... yes.. you guessed it.. his usual sports shows. And what did he say when I blocked his view of the tv by my neediness......

Taylor: "No no... you will get me sick."

Uhhh last time I checked side affects are not contagious

Me: "It is just my medicine babe... I told you that..."

Taylor: (Without taking eyes from TV and peering around me) "Ya... but you don't know that.. you could be getting sick... and then I could get sick... we just don't know."

Me: "Yes... and this also could be morning sickness and I could be pregnant."

(Noo... I am not prego.. nor planning to be.. I just threw it out there cause it was the first thing that came to my mind. Hold off on the judgement... we all think without speaking)

Now... you may judge:

Taylor: (Without batting a eye)- " oh well... I don't want to catch being... um... pregnant"

And as soon as he said it... he realized what he said and just looked at me with a big smile...

....then the laughter started again.

Yes... He actually said this... His sports induced coma still amazes me.

 Man Translation of the above-- Please please leave me alone to watch my sports programs

Let me just say...even though during football season Saturday Sunday and Monday are days we must rush home because heaven forbid we miss games.... and even though my future holds a lot of football during Thanksgiving and Christmas... and even though I don't understand the useless information that Taylor and his buddies can quote about all and any sport... I will survive... and I am starting to .. uh.. enjoy the camaraderie that being obsessed with sports brings.

 It seems.. upon research that this is a legitimate problem in a lot of marriages. There are even support groups! They are not men bashing.. mostly just trying to tell women to find things they enjoy doing for themselves.

Luckily... I have a lot of things I love, and I do not mind sitting and reading while Taylor watches. Or dressing up to support his team.. even if they lose the first round of playoffs after being almost undefeated and having won the superbowl the previous year hahahaha

FYI: I may have a cruel sense of humor. 

Anyways.. luckily... these differences of entertainment bring a lot of laughter between us.

And luckily... annoying Taylor and smothering him while he watches sports is probably one of my favorite things to do :)