Taylor and I had a long night and ended it with some McDonalds. We were both famished and did not care about anything but getting that food. I... as usual did not want to get too much of the diet destroying food... so I ordered the happy meal... all the while praising myself for my discipline. But before we had even reached home... I had eaten my entire happy meal and was still hungry. I found myself dismayed that once again... I had not ordered enough food to fill me up.
When we got home... I realized Taylor had not gotten one... but two big burgers. This was perfect! I was starving and Taylor had ordered way more than me. Problem solved... Taylor could just share his food with me. He had left it on the table so maybe I could get a few bites in before he came back for the burgers. So I commenced in taking a big bite out of his burger and was about to take a second when... there he was... Taylor had appeared... and I had been spotted... burger in hand.
If you have not read any of my posts... I must tell you... Taylor is extremely territorial over his food... and when he is hungry... even more so. Nothing ticks him off more than when I take his food and eat it without asking.
So there I was red handed.. caught with the Grand Lord's feast... but I was too hungry to back down. I dared to snarf another bite and tried to give the innocent look of a starving woman.
Of course this did not work... Taylor was very very angry... it was very late and he was hungry... reason had left both of us. He snatched the burger from my hand and the other one from the table and just glared at me... He began to state his usual recitation of his code of ethics surrounding his food. It ends with something like this was his food and he bought it so HE could eat it blah blah and if I wanted more I should have bought more. This all seems very logical to him and as usual he is exasperated by my inability to grasp this concept.
I tried to explain to him I was just really hungry... but he remained unmoving and upset. I think he actually put the burgers behind his back at one point.
So in turn.. I began to get upset.. he was being so crazy about that stupid burger... I don't care about the code of honor surrounding a man's food... I am his wife...and I don't have any problems sharing so why should he?
This is where the story gets even more embarrassing. You would think fighting over a burger would take the cake... but no.. there is more to this tale.
I... upon feeling "righteous" indignation... stood up and stormed upstairs... proclaiming that the night was now over... and I was going to bed... secretly expecting Taylor to come upstairs after me. No way was I going downstairs until he came upstairs.
Taylor.. on the other hand.. was still upset over his burger.. mostly because he had decided that my two bites had consumed half the burger... and upon my leaving... he was even more upset that I was mad over something as stupid as the burger... it was his burger and he had claim to it.. so what was the problem? We had been over this enough.. or so he assumed.
So he decided that there was no way he was going upstairs to apologize... I was the one that needed to apologize.. so he stayed downstairs eating his burgers and watching TV.
Fast forward... I woke up the next morning and realized that Taylor was not in bed... I hurried downstairs and saw him sleeping on the couch. Yes.. that is right... in our prideful stubbornness we had both fallen asleep... And yes... the outcome of our stupid burger fight was that we had actually slept in separate beds.
We still can't stop laughing that this actually happened.
We don't feel like gluttons or anything.... not at all.
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