Sports Ramblings

So I read up on something called a "football (sports) widow". Now I will preface this with the fact that Taylor is very loving and attentive, but it has become something of a joke talking about his love... err obsession with sports.

I was an athlete. I like to compete. Actually, I am fiercely competitive... probably to a fault. But I do not understand watching sports networks all the time. I have tried, but it gets boring so fast. Sometimes I feel like watching football is like watching 4 hours of paint dry. And Saturday, Sunday, and Monday.. really? AND THEN the in between sports shows and commentaries?  Trust me.. I do not really care what high school this player went to... or anything else...

Although, I must say.. I do not mind some of the documentaries talking about the things players overcame to become great. I like that kind of stuff. It is inspirational. It is not dry. What can I say... I have a Blindside shaped soft spot in my heart.

Lately.. one thing I REALLY do not understand... is why in this world... does Superbowl coverage start a week before the superbowl. Seriously... it does.

Case in point: Taylor watches this one show and instead of being indoors for the show.... they were out in the cold. I asked Taylor why they were outside... My misunderstanding came from the fact that there were no games for a week. Taylor informed me that they were where the superbowl would be held.. like outside of the stadium... and they were doing pre-game coverage... A WEEK IN ADVANCE.

Personally... I watch the Superbowl for the commercials... and sometimes I get into the game.. sometimes... well usually if there is a bet going.. like I said.. I am all about winning and anything that gives me the chance to be superior to another.. I am there. Oh and I enjoy things like this:

Goodness. Anyways back to the football widow stuff. I thought I would share some examples of widowhood:

Example (A)- Last year I spent an entire Christmas break watching Bowl games. (And a whole day watching ALL the Lord of the Rings: Extended Versions... but due to my ability to sleep at any moment that was tolerable for a day).  Anyways.. yes you read that right... we watched.. I think.. every bowl game that holiday season.. which means we may have watched... like 35 games in that short period.

Sidenote: I must say this year...  Happy day for me.. Because this year we had wedding and honeymoon during bowl season... and no TV in our hotel room. Score 1 for Shelbi.

Example (B)- As soon as we moved into our new house.. Taylor was stoked because he could keep the hideous green bay packer BEAN BAG... in my pretty living room. Just because there was room.

 Example (B)- Sometimes when we are sitting on the couch Taylor gives me side kisses. Like he moves only his lips to the side to kiss me. Funny right? That is what I thought. I would tease him about these side kisses. Wondering... why do you kiss like that sometimes?

Well folks.. the joke is on me. 

One day we were laying on the couch, and I went in for a kiss. Lo and behold.. I get a side kiss.

That is when I realized what really had been going down.

TAYLOR SIDE KISSES SO THAT HE CAN STILL SEE THE TV.... and yet still appease me.

I immediately called him out on it. "O my gosh.. you side kiss so you can watch sports and deal with me at the same time!" Response: A roar of laughter. I do not even know if he really realized he was giving me kisses.

I should be upset... but I have to admit.. I joined in that laughter. Besides.. I am not the one scrunching my face to do the stupid side kiss.

Example (C)- Now that I have caught Taylor on this side kiss stuff... If I want a kiss.. I go all for it.

On this occasion, I had not been feeling well all day due to the side effects of some medicine I was taking.

(Sidenote: I think all drugs should give you a happy feeling. They cost enough so why not throw some happy making ingredients in there.... side affects should not exist... or rather be covered.. with modern medicine.)

Anyways, I was in my sleepy... needy.. you should cuddle me all the time xoxo pathetic not feeling well mode. Taylor was watching... yes.. you guessed it.. his usual sports shows. And what did he say when I blocked his view of the tv by my neediness......

Taylor: "No no... you will get me sick."

Uhhh last time I checked side affects are not contagious

Me: "It is just my medicine babe... I told you that..."

Taylor: (Without taking eyes from TV and peering around me) "Ya... but you don't know that.. you could be getting sick... and then I could get sick... we just don't know."

Me: "Yes... and this also could be morning sickness and I could be pregnant."

(Noo... I am not prego.. nor planning to be.. I just threw it out there cause it was the first thing that came to my mind. Hold off on the judgement... we all think without speaking)

Now... you may judge:

Taylor: (Without batting a eye)- " oh well... I don't want to catch being... um... pregnant"

And as soon as he said it... he realized what he said and just looked at me with a big smile...

....then the laughter started again.

Yes... He actually said this... His sports induced coma still amazes me.

 Man Translation of the above-- Please please leave me alone to watch my sports programs

Let me just say...even though during football season Saturday Sunday and Monday are days we must rush home because heaven forbid we miss games.... and even though my future holds a lot of football during Thanksgiving and Christmas... and even though I don't understand the useless information that Taylor and his buddies can quote about all and any sport... I will survive... and I am starting to .. uh.. enjoy the camaraderie that being obsessed with sports brings.

 It seems.. upon research that this is a legitimate problem in a lot of marriages. There are even support groups! They are not men bashing.. mostly just trying to tell women to find things they enjoy doing for themselves.

Luckily... I have a lot of things I love, and I do not mind sitting and reading while Taylor watches. Or dressing up to support his team.. even if they lose the first round of playoffs after being almost undefeated and having won the superbowl the previous year hahahaha

FYI: I may have a cruel sense of humor. 

Anyways.. luckily... these differences of entertainment bring a lot of laughter between us.

And luckily... annoying Taylor and smothering him while he watches sports is probably one of my favorite things to do :)

Job Hunting.... in Winter

SO the first day I decided to venture out into the unknown that is Sioux Falls... Mother Nature... insert expletive.. decided to send me a present.... Snow. I had been very excited to see the snow until I realized that I was going to have to drive in it. And as if this was not good enough... learning to drive in the snow and all.. my car is a stick shift. And I just learned to drive it.

Lets just say... watching the mailman slither and spin out while trying to get away from the curb did not put much confidence in my already.. umm... LIMITED ability to drive stick.

I invite you to picture this:

I took off in my little Camry.. Pleasantly scraping the bottom of my car across the curb (sioux falls for some reason puts a dip right before the curb... EVERYWHERE). After pummeling my way through the snow, I try my best to stay in first almost everywhere I go, but it seems that annoys people around you. Go figure. I was just terrifed of sliding and hitting people... the speed limit is like 35 everywhere...gimme a break.

SIDENOTE: I would just like to say that road rage is not limited to California. I had a few women this day yell and wave their arms at me. Umm hello.. the road is covered in snow and look at my license plates!! Geeze you would think people could have a little mercy. I cannot help that you have xray vision  enabling you to see the lines in the road through the snow... or that you have a death wish and drive way over the speed limit. I on the other hand am a normal human being, and I wish to live... and to not hit your car... yes you are WELCOME.

Navigation-
Here I am in a town that is basically a square so I figure why print out directions to all the places I am going.. I am just going to use my iphone. Duh.

Classic SoCal girl error.

Reason 1: Cars around here are freezing when you get into them if they have not been running for like.. the last 20 minutes. So as stated before.. you wear gloves in the car. No problem right? WRONG.

Reason 2: You cannot.. and I repeat.. CANNOT.. navigate on your iphone with gloves. The screen does not register with the glove material.

So there goes the warmth of my hands for the next 5 hours of job searching. I contemplated leaving the car on when I went into places, but I just can't break the habit of locking the car.. and then double checking that it is locked.. in case someone might steal it... or hide in the back of my car. I don't care if there is no way someone would steal my car due to the fact they have nowhere to go once they leave the city.  The distrust of strangers is just too deep. I am sorry midwest.


So that was my day. Struggling to shift, very cold, struggling to navigate, and dealing with women who need to get a life.

Please refrain from any blonde comments.

Also, I have given up on my cute matching outfits and high heels. I can't tell you how relieved I felt when I saw that people out here wear parkas and boots. I thought they all had some mutant gene that allows them to withstand the cold all the way into negative temperatures... but no. They are just like me.

One day out in my pea coat and my closed toe high heels was all I needed to realize that it is perfectly fine to dawn the parka and leather Ugg boots :)

Hello South Dakota...

I have moved. I have moved to Sioux Falls, South Dakota. I find it interesting that whenever anyone finds out that I chose to move from San Diego to Sioux Falls I get a blank stare followed by the question of the year: Why?

Well Sioux Falls. I will tell you why. I have always wanted to live in the cold. I love waking up to seeing the thermometer at a blissful -3. I like that I have started to worry about frostbite if I am outside for any length of time without a pair of gloves. It has also always intrigued me to be in a place that people leave their cars running in parking lots while they shop just so they don't get their hands stuck to the steering while they wait for the car to warm up. I also love dry skin and the constantly feelng that somehow I am getting a sunburn.

My favorite thing about living in the cold is figuring out how to sleep in it. Granted, Taylor and I have had our own difficulties figuring out how to sleep in a dang bed together. It will forever confuse me how he can say that I push him off the bed when clearly there is a measurable size difference between the two of us. Refer to picture below:

Yes ladies and gentlemen. Look at those muscles... that is what much time in the gym looks like. Please refrain from all comments on the pure bulk and mass of those muscles. Yes, I, Shelbi Klein, am able to displace my husband from his place on the bed with those babies... Or at least thats the story I am getting from the other side of the bed ;) Ok I am now done with my tangent.

Where was I? Oh yes... learning to sleep in South Dakota. So I want you all to remember what it is like to sleep with the heater on... that dry, stale air sliding up and down your throat all night long... creating a sort of scraping feeling when one breathes. Don't forget the feeling that absolutely all moisture has left your skin. This is not an environment that is conducive to sleeping. No sireee. So what does one do? One turns down the heater. But in a world where your home is but a thin barrier protecting you from cold and wind what does this mean? It means cold house. So one wraps up in blankets yes? Well there is still a problem here... One.. rather I... wrap myself up in blankets.. happy that my toes have begun to thaw... until I begin to sweat. I don't know anyone who likes to sweat when they are sleeping. I personally hate the feeling. So.. in my half asleep state of mind.. of course my first reaction is to throw off the blankets, but oh no.. guess what Shelbi? Yes.. you live in South Dakota, and you turned down your heat. I freeze. The sweat becomes icycles. You can just repeat this cycle.

I will tell you when I figure out how to sleep.

Now real talk.. I moved to South Dakota for the only reason that any girl leaves any place: a man. Duh. But not just any man. I moved for my most favorite man in the whole world! Taylor James Klein somehow endures my company everyday and has promised to do so for the rest of our breathing days. Commitment is my favorite thing ever. I love my husband. I absolutely love being married, and I could not be more thankful for where I am right now in life. I can't wait to get my Mrs. Klein jersey for this fall's football season!